


Touching the Stars

by Nelja-in-English (Nelja)



Series: Porn for every Power [7]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Consent Issues Exchange Treat, Do Not Archive, Dubious Consent, Other, Religious Content, Sexual Metaphors, Size Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-23 15:39:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17083064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelja/pseuds/Nelja-in-English
Summary: "I'm yours," Mike cries out in despair, and he jumps.





	Touching the Stars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alias (anafabula)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anafabula/gifts).



"I'm yours," Mike cries out in despair, and he jumps.

The tower is a hundred feet tall. It's too small already. Mike feels like he has the whole universe to fall through. It will go faster and faster always and it will never stop. Terror grasps at his heart.

He's suffocating, he can't breathe at this speed, the wind slapping at him - but air is still entering his body, not following his lungs' pitiful motions, but entering him whole, not through his mouth and nose but through his soul.

He has never really breathed before.

Tears are in his eyes, rolling along his eyelashes, getting lost above him as he's falling faster, as they draw a sparse rain of pains and fears left behind.

He didn't want this, it is losing himself, chaining himself - and it's exactly what he has always wanted.

Mike tentatively touches his scar. It's still there, pulsing like electricity under his fingers. He can see, far away, the monster that ruined his life, still trying to get to him. It followed him. No- it didn't want to, but it was caught.

Mike should be afraid to see it again - but the immensity of space is on his side now, and the monster will never find him, will never find anyone, lost, trapped forever in the vastness between the stars. Some prisons don't need bars.

The best part is, it's only a prison for the things that deserve it.

He can't believe he ever wanted to be rid of this scar. It's so beautiful, the gift of the sky.

Mike is free. He's forever free, in the exhilaration of the fall. The whole universe is in front of him. And he's nothing. He realizes it very clearly now. He still doesn't want to close his eyes, to retreat into the small space enclosed behind his eyelids. He still doesn't want to think about something as small as what will happen to me? when he has everything here.

Infinite void in every direction, stars so lonely that all of them together can't even fill the sky, and he loves all of it.

Then the universe enters him.

Mike is a small man - not that it would change anything otherwise, every human is insignificant - and what was outside is now inside him, stretching his soul wide, pulsing inside his body - it's void, it's nothing his feeble mind can conceptualize, and it's taking him, invading him, filling him like nothing ever has.

Mike moans and tries to cry out, but his breath is stolen again. There is nothing he can do but submit and feel.

His body hasn't changed. His body can't contain any of it. He should die. Instead he sees the stars now like tiny marbles, the galaxies like roads, and it's too much, as beautiful and painful for his mind as it is for his body. His heart is pounding. He tries to conceptualize It as a God - that's the way It is worshipped on earth - but the word and the idea seem far too small. It helps a bit though, it gives him a point of comparison.

When he finally manages to bear it, it's so wonderful he could cry. He looks at the universe in its ecstatic glory, feeling whole...

And then it happens again.

How could he believe the galaxies were big when they're shoved inside his very being again, and they're so, so little, just grains of sand, and the universe...

...the universe is still infinite around him; crushing him with its immensity. He can't take all of this in, he can't. He still desperately wants to. And each time he's at the frontier of managing it, the scale shifts, again, and again, and there's no ending to it, of course, there cannot be. He wants to beg for it to stop, so he can enjoy it for more than a few seconds, but nothing will listen to him.

Mike never really falls back to the ground. He falls back to Earth, and it's still infinitely too small. He looks up with painful longing. _He knows what the sky is_. A part of it is still inside him, crying out for wholeness. He desires nothing more than to take the fullness of space inside him again.

"I'm yours," he says again. And then "I love you."


End file.
